Overheard

Characters
Man in coffee shop who has long sideburns and is wearing black.

Woman in coffee shop with man in black. She has a thick accent and is from India. (The fact that she is from India is not at all relevant but it IS interesting.)

T a friend who I keep in my pocket for situations just like this.

Me


Interior Coffee Shop. Day.
A man and a woman have just sat down with their coffees. The woman has a bagel and there is a pack of cigarettes between them.

Man: I’m really falling for this girl. I can’t stop thinking about her.
Woman: Wow, that’s great. Is she in the program?
Man: The program is anonymous.
Woman: I don’t know her name.
Man: Yes, she is in the program. She’s really pretty. She’s a vegan.
Woman: Is that why you’re wearing the Vegan Or Die shirt today?
Man: I’m meeting her later.
Woman: I’m happy for you.
Man: It’s going really well. I think I’m in love.
Woman: Does she feel the same?
Man: I think so. . .
Woman: Does she know-
Man: I’m not sure.
Woman: Did you tell her?
Man: I don’t know how to bring it up.
Woman: Just say: I love you but I’m still technically married to my ex-wife because I want to stay on her health insurance.
Man: You think that’ll work?
Woman: Why not?
Man: I’m glad you’re my sponsor. All my other friends are just not as supportive. They think she’ll run.
Woman: Why would she?
Man: I’m going to grab a cigarette, you want one?
Woman: Sure.

Me in a text to T: Just found you the perfect guy. Young, smoker, loves to talk about his feelings.
T in a text back: I’m not sure I’m ready for a commitment.
Me: I know! It’s perfect; he’s totally still married.
T: I’ll be there in 5.